As Muslims today, our problems can largely be attributed to one of the two: our misunderstanding or our misinterpretation of certain religious provisions.
Marriage for example: We have failed to see it as an act of ‘ibaadah (worship) hence, people go into it with different lustful motivations. Beauty or wealth or status or even just succumbing to societal pressure.
Again, the verse that states that men are the protectors of women has been grossly misunderstood and even misinterpreted which has now empowered some men to oppress and even violate the rights of their wives.
The religious provision of polygamy also has been grossly misunderstood such that those who have no means to do it, go ahead to do it thereby failing to meet up with the basic obligations of marriage.
The religious provision that encouraged having many children has been grossly misunderstood such that people give birth to many children without taking care of them. The deafening silence on the obligation to cater for those children has encouraged this.
The religious provision of belief in Qadr (destiny) has been grossly misunderstood and even misinterpreted such that people become careless about many things and not exerting efforts towards attaining great heights because they have Qadr to fall back on for our failures.
The religious provision of working for the Hereafter has been grossly misunderstood and even misinterpreted such that people don’t strive to acquire legitimate wealth and expand their businesses not knowing that it will benefit the larger Muslim society.
We have equally appreciated certain cultural values more than our religious culture.
We need to understand religious provisions the way the Salaf (pious predecessors) did in order to once again position ourselves as progressives as against the retrogressive outlook we present today.
Why marriages fail
On marriages, it’s all about the show (extravagance), matchmaking by the parents to keep the money in the family. Selling of the sons or daughters with style to keep up the family social status. All the wrong reasons to marry so what to expect when everything is an expensive show and a sham?
Today most women go into married life with a mindset deeply rooted more in “I know my rights and I’m financially independent” than in obedience while the men with a mindset that is more of “exerting authority” than discharging of duties and responsilities.
At home, she disrespects her husband and can seek for divorce at slightest provocation because she doesn’t accept that he can ask her to do certain chores for him. While at workplace her boss can even shout at her, pressurize her to deliver on assignments given to her and she will obligingly respond with “okay sir”. She won’t offer resignation. Funny world
At workplace, he smiles with strange women and buys them lunch and even gifts while at home he frowns at his wife and threatens with a divorce at the slightest demand to have his attention.
