Does your daughter know her boyfriend’s name?

One of the issues that speak of Nigeria’s utter brokenness and her urgent need for fixing is the rising incidences of young girls and even some mature women befriending boys or men, sleeping with them, becoming pregnant for them and even getting married to them without as much as knowing their real names or where such boys or men come from, what real businesses they do and other vital statistics any sane person would expect are necessary for a sexual or any deep relationship of any kind.

In the course of this COVID 19 lockdown I repaired to my village. While there, I heard stories some of which sound like improbable tales by moonlight. One of them which outraged me in my self-assigned responsibility as one of the moral guardians of our country is the many stories of NYSC men who serve in various parts of the countries.

What is happening is that some of them who are deployed to teach, especially in secondary schools, do often impregnate some naïve young girls especially on the days of their send forth and leave the communities where they are serving back to their places of origin. When their stomachs begin to bulge and the girls are asked who did it they just respond that it is “Corper’’.

They don’t know the Corper’s name, his phone number, where he comes from and where he is returning to. They know absolutely nothing about him. The only thing they can say correctly about him is that he did that thing to her one day or night and there is evidence to show for that single act!

There is no point for us parents pretending that our daughters are not doing it. I think that mothers in particular must be charged with the very delicate responsibility of teaching their daughters a thing or two about relationship especially when they notice that these young things are becoming sexually aware. There is no use hoping and not expecting that their daughters know next to nothing about these things and will never be touched. We live in evil times.

Teach your daughter that the first thing she should do when any young man or any man at all is making dangerous move, and she senses that she likes him and is likely to say yes to his advances and maneuvers, is that she should engage in some elementary due diligence.

She should get to know his real names and aliases, his ethnic group, his state, his local government area, his village, his parents, what they do for a living, which town or city or village they dwell in and earn a living, his brothers and sisters and where some of them are and what they do.

Mothers, when you teach your daughters these basic facts of life, these life-saving skills, they are not likely to indicate that they happy with you. They will show strong resentment accusing you of suspecting them or having low opinion of them, but do not bother. Your dignity and the dignity of the entire community is at stake.

They may pretend anger but the message is sinking in. and better for you to even have an altercation with them on account of this than live to face the embarrassment of having grand children who either answer your husband’s surname or have an all female first and surnames such as “Agatha Christie’’.

If your ‘fatherless’ grand child is a female your embarrassment may be limited as she will one day be given out in marriage and change her name but if he happens to be a male, you will almost live with that embarrassment for life. He will become a constant, persistent reminder of your daughter’s foolishness and yours too.

Since we live in a country where national identity is a dangerous secret that should not be embarked upon, it falls on people, especially naïve young girls who can easily be made victims by amorous and unchilvarous men, to devise means of saving themselves and especially their mothers from great embarrassment.

Sex is also known as ‘intimacy’, ‘communion’ or ‘knowing’. When Mary the mother of Jesus said “I know not a man’’ she was very correct in every sense of that statement. She did not have a man friend not to talk of sleeping with one. How on earth can a girl sleep with a man she does not know at all, especially some basic information such as his name and address? How does she agree to intimacy or communion with a man she has not known? Teach her to spy on the man, to feret information from his files. Let her check his certificates and get to know his real names and where he comes from.

Feminists also have a role to play. I think it is a serious dent on the image of the entire womanhood that some among them sell themselves so cheap that it becomes an embarrassment to the entire sex or gender. If I am a woman and hear this type of “Corper’’ story, I will hide my face in shame because it does not speak well of women at all. It may not be a particular you but it reflects on the entire sisterhood of which you cannot be exempt. Men may be brutish beasts as some feminists say they are.

But what is the explanation for the fact that a young girl will consent to go to bed with a familiar stranger she has every opportunity in the world to know but which because of her sheer stupidity she does not? Let them organize ‘’Operation Know Your Potential Enemy’’ training nodules and teach it to these young things since these things will certainly get entangled with some friendly enemies one day.

As a scion of fiery prophets Elijah and Amos, I cannot help but think that if any of my daughters came up to tell me that they were impregnated by a Corper without name or any form of identity, that is the day you and your mother will cease to dwell in my home. Both of you will be deployed that day to go out that day and use whatever means at your miserable disposal to find out this mysterious, unknowable “Corper’’ and bring him dead or alive, preferably alive, to come and answer for his horrible crime!

According to my findings the incidences of Corpers impregnating their students and disappearing without any known trail or trace got so alarming that it led to a new law in Bekwarra LGA and other parts of my State. Once a corper gets posted to a LGA, he or she is now required to document at the LGA headquarters and in the school or place of primary assignment.

As I said earlier, this whole thing speaks of the brokenness of Nigeria especially in identity management and administration. The work of an outfit like the DSS is to keep tab on ALL citizens. How come before these incidents, no one had the presence of mind to properly document NYSC members sent to their establishment? How will the DSS give account of the phase of a corper’s service in a secondary school or anywhere else in that phase of his life?

If a corper comes to a village to commit a heinous crime, do the authorities have any way of knowing or does it mean it is never documented? Service year is usually during the formative years of a person life when much of his present and future character traits are displayed. How come there seems to be no way of keeping tab on a person at this critical period of his life.

All over the country we are having Corper children. Police army Immigration, NDLEA officials and many others who are posted to several parts of the country are having ‘posting children’ all over the place. Is there anyone keeping records of these checkpoints children fathered by highly libidinous law officers with wayward home girls?

This matter also speaks about our increasing laxity about things in our administration of our MDAS and institutions given to us to manage. How on earth will a school principal have in his charge officers who will be under him for at least a year without a full dossier on them? I hear that in all schools, NYSC men and women are identified as Corper Abdullahi, or Corper Ikechukwu or Corper Abiodun. Beyond that, no one, including the principal, headmaster or head of the place, knows them. This is a very sad commentary on our country.

Stories abound of even mature women who get married to men whom they do not know beyond their guy names such as “Auxiliary’’, “Chicago’’, “Yobo’’ or “Back Axle’’. It is becoming increasingly reproachful to live in my dear country because anywhere you turn you will meet with stories of pain, shame, tears or reproach.

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